Can you just tell me if I'm still needed or not?
Did my role change already?
Should I stop caring for the team and just be like the others?
Should I stop caring for the role and just accept that I am no longer needed like before?
It's bothering me so much.
How everything is changing, and just like that, no warning was sent.
Looking back now, did I ever gave value to the team?
Was I even really part of them or just because I've been with them for so long, that even my cries are now ignored?
This feeling, time and time, always comes back.
I know that I serve You, and that whoever I serve with should not matter.
But why do I always feel like I have to fight for a place just to belong? just to matter? And whenever I feel like this, why do I feel like I'm so stupid for even feeling this? And that if ever I share this, I would just be told that "it's just me" and that no one is telling me that I don't belong or that I don't matter.
.....
