How Are You?

"How are you?"
The most sincere question one asks yet the most lied one to.

I'm blessed to have friends who are genuinely concerned about me.
More and more, as days pass, God reminds me that He worries about me.
And that He sends people to help me open up.
He knows that I won't speak about the things that bother me (yung mga personal stuff, not the service or work related stuff), so He sends people who He knows would see through my mask and really dig into my mind.
And that question, that simple question, if asked by one of these people, I could never lie.
Not even my smile can't hide the fact that I'm not okay.

Tbh, I'm not.
I say I am, but I'm not.
I look okay, but I'm not.
I try to be okay, but I'm not.

I'm trying so hard to pull myself from this slump I am in - but I really can't.
My fears haunt me daily.
And with my mind working as it is, I just thank God I'm still alive.
If not for my family, friends & ministry, I'm sure, I wouldn't be here, writing this.